How to Get Your Dream Body

Welcome, Reader. Let’s get right to it.

First and foremost, to get your ~dream body~, we must first define what your dream body is.

One size does not fit all. Let’s figure out what the dream body is FOR YOU.

The Quiz

Let me ask you some questions; feel free to write down your answers to reflect upon later.

How do you like spending your time? You don’t have to get as crazy as me, but I literally listed out everything I enjoy doing, without getting too specific. To give you some ideas, my list includes reading, baking, organizing, crafting, gardening, travel, and dancing, just to name a few.
What are your favorite foods? Pretend you have to plan your last meal- what are all the foods on this list? If you’re like me and don’t think well under pressure, be more vague. I love all the common Asian foods I’ve had (Thai, American Chinese, traditional Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Indian, Vietnamese), American comfort food, fresh seafood, Mexican food, etc. I love fresh fruit, but I also love regional fast food chains. I love pastries.
What’s your favorite form of exercise? Think outside the box if you aren’t into the traditional methods. I, for example, hate running. I hate lifting weights. I don’t hate hiking but there would have to be a damn good view at the end of the hike. That said, I enjoy the occasional little dance workout, pilates, or yoga video on YouTube. I love going for walks. I love stretching in whatever way feels right. I love to kayak and to swim. I love late night dance parties in my bedroom. I love bike rides and rollerblading. I love playing a casual game of badminton. I used to really enjoy indoor rock climbing. I think I would LOVE aerial classes, or pole dance, or burlesque.
What are your big ticket bucket list items? Feel free to take a gander at my bucket list for some inspiration.
What are your long-term goals for your future? Some of my goals include owning my dream house, making art, and crossing off items on my bucket list. I think the American dream is doing well at work, getting married, having kids, and growing old with your spouse and grandkids (can’t relate but maybe you can, Reader). If you struggle with long-term goals, you can use your personal values to answer this question. For example, if you value peace, your long-term goals might be finding a way to make money that doesn’t infringe on your mental health, or being sure you get plenty of time to enjoy your hobbies.

Now, Reader, how do you use these answers to get your dream body?

It’s easy.

Your dream body is the body that allows you to do all of these things.

Yes, all of these things. Life is about balance.

Someone whose genuine answers are “lifting weights, protein bars, deadlifts, climb Mount Everest, and win a fitness show” is going to have a very different dream body from someone who answers “going shopping, mac and cheese, mat pilates, vacation in Aruba, and start a family.”

And that is okay! Both are totally valid! They should look different because they have entirely different lifestyles and goals!

And neither of them should look like someone who answered “reading, gluten-free avocado toast, barre classes, be on the SI cover, and open a fashion show.”

(Presumably your answers included more than one item for each question, but this is just to make a point.)

Do you want to spend your limited time and energy in this life trying to achieve or hold on to something that isn’t naturally attainable or even logical for your dream life? Let me answer for you- no, you don’t.

Meet your nutrition needs while enjoying the things you love. Be the level of fit that you need to healthily accomplish your goals. Cultivate your mind.

Confidence is Hottest

Literally, who cares what the current body trend is. It’s all a scam to make women insecure. You know what is truly the hottest body? The one with someone confident and content living in it.

Confident people have a radiance and magnetism like no other. Confidence does not equate to looking a certain way. It’s about authentically understanding who you are and what that means for your life, which is something no one can take away from you. I’ve met confident people of all shapes and sizes.

Develop a skill that’s important to you, achieve your goals, and engage with your passions. Feel worthy, capable, talented, and competent. Know yourself and believe in your ability to accomplish. That will make you confident.

My Past

I have been model-thin, so skinny I was dying, curvy in a thicc kind of way, “slim thick”, fat, a super strong gym rat, the “toned” pilates girl, and a cardio queen. I’ve had all sorts of “dream bodies” as well as what society deems unappealing.

I realized one day how much of my life I spent focused on how I looked. Getting thinner, getting thicker, gaining fat in the right places while losing it in the wrong. Tacking calories, macros, minutes on the elliptical, sets on a machine.

I thought about how much of my energy I’ve spent thinking about how to look better. Fitness is not a passion of mine- not like that- and I wondered who I would be if I had invested that energy elsewhere. An astronaut? An artist? A master of some niche skill, or better yet, a true jack of all trades? Would I know more languages? Would I have more passion, energy, and drive? Who knows. I know I wouldn’t have the same health issues from years of starvation.

The Present Day

That’s how I got to where I am now. I never want to think about calories ever again. The only things I think about are if my meals include protein, fat, micronutrients, and fiber. If they don’t, I try to add something.

I eat as much as I want to feel satiated. Sometimes it’s three servings, and sometimes I skip meals because I’m not hungry.

I eat as often as I want, including snacks right after a meal, if I’m still hungry.

I eat literally whatever I want, which is often pretty healthy because I simply feel better afterwards, which allows me to do the activities I love. But not always! Because I don’t restrict, it always levels out. Eating a lot of sugar or sodium makes me feel physically unwell, so it simply doesn’t happen on a regular basis.

I do basic bodyweight strength training, despite hating it, because a lot of my personal goals require me to be strong and powerful.

I’m a pretty independent person and I hope to maintain that as long as possible, which means maintaining a certain level of fitness. The best exercise is the one you’ll keep doing. For me, that is a daily walk.

My body is the size that it is that allows me to live the way I want to live. And honestly, Reader, as someone who has usually been smaller than this for most of my life, I have to say: I love having boobs.

This is the first time I’ve ever really felt happy with my body, because I am happy with my life. I get to do all of the things that are important to me.

Furthermore, at some point, we’re all going to have hormonal changes and lose our standard physical abilities. It can come a lot sooner than you think. I think it’s healthy to give up any attachment to some “dream body” now and cultivate your dream self on the inside, so you aren’t blindsided by physical changes and restrictions.

And to be blunt, someday I want to fall in love, and I want that person to think I’m f***ing hot. Me as I am now, doing everything that I love in life, looking however that looks. Not some version of my body that I struggle with and make lots of sacrifices to maintain. This is the me that I love, and this is the me I want to keep being.

Token Conspiracy Theories

Finally, I would like to point out a couple feminist conspiracy theory rabbit holes I’ve gone down. God, this could be it’s own post.

Firstly, capitalism. Who benefits from society at large obsessing over their looks? The beauty industry, the diet industry, the fitness industry, the fashion industry, the plastic surgery industry, the porn industry, and the pharmaceutical and medical industries.

I emphasize industry to remind you that these huge corporations benefit from your personal insecurities and unhappiness. If you were happy and content, they would not make money from you.

Second, the dreaded patriarchy.

To summarize:

Men want to remain in control of women (the status quo)
Men use women’s looks as status symbols (her visuals matter more than her mind or accomplishments)
Men prefer women to be the weaker sex (the power imbalance)

Setting unattainable beauty standards that are wholly based on appealing to some male-centered beauty ideal that embodies binary gender roles and generally takes over every aspect of a woman’s life since childhood because it’s socially inescapable, accomplishes all of those things.

I really can’t cover this part in the depth it needs here, but feel free to think on that on your own, if it interests you. Ask Chat GPT.

To Conclude

That’s all for this one, Reader.

For some reason I thought today was Tuesday, and I thought I was getting a head start on this post. I was wrong.

Random updates: I think it’s finally going to snow! I love snow.

Also, my Animal Crossing island reached 5 stars.

Also, I’ve been doing some relationship analysis with ChatGPT that’s really interesting. Maybe that will be the next post. Maybe not, I don’t like to be held to things.